Help for an 8th grader with reactive attachment disorder.
Hello, I am a school social worker in a very tiny district in upstate New York. We have an 8th grader with reactive attachment disorder and I have been working closely with the pediatrician for her. She is currently living with her biological father and his wife, and they are at the end for what they are able to do for this young lady. I would like to speak with you about any and all suggestions you may have. Could you possibly send me a contact number? It would be greatly appreciated.
Gordon Heard, LCSW
Hello Gordon, thanks for writing. As you can see, I have changed your name for the purpose of this blog. If you still believe that it might be helpful, I’ll give you my telephone number but I’d much rather refer you to someone who could be of more help, as I am not a mental health professional.
Having parented an eighth grader with reactive attachment disorder though, I do have a few ideas or suggestions. First, I can fully understand and appreciate the troubles they are having with this young girl. Please correct me if I am wrong but I think that I can assume that she is not being seen by an attachment therapist. Unfortunately, I don’t know that things are likely to get better without it. Traditional therapy might be of some help with the behavioral problems but more often than not, it does more harm than good, since children with reactive attachment disorder are motivated differently than children with other behavioral problems.
My strongest suggestion for the parents is that they seek help from a trained attachment therapist. There is a list of attachment centers and therapists in New York, which can be found in that section of the RadKid.Org Directory of Reactive Attachment Resources. While there may not be anyone within the town that these folks live in, it is not at all unusual for parents to have to make a longer drive once a week for this important therapy. Our nephew’s attachment therapist was an hour and a half away from us, yet the drive was well worth it.
Specifically, I would suggest calling one of the listed centers – the Center for Family Development, Hudson Valley Family Attachments or the New York Family Attachment Center; or perhaps even the Martha Welch Center for Family Treatment; since, although she is located in New York City, she is one of the pioneers of attachment therapy and may well know of someone who might be closer to you.
Additionally, you might suggest to the parents that they avail themselves of an excellent online support forum. My wife and I organized the RadKid forum on Delphiforums.com several years ago. Although, I am no longer the host of the forum, I am still involved with it and it is being managed by a group of parents more capable than myself. Not only might this be a place where they can vent, ask for advice, and receive some good ideas, but someone there might even know of a more local resource for you. There is no charge to participate in the forum, thought Delphiforums.com does offer a paid membership program which removes the advertisements.
If you still believe that you need to speak to me, please let me know and I’ll send you my telephone number.
– ken